Undead Death's-Head Devil-Worshiping Legion of the Eternally Damned

So I was doing a little trading the other day just for old times sake, and decided to play QID for a while. Well pretty soon, I got a notice from the brokerage house about "Pattern Day Trading". I knew there had to be a catch in there somewhere.

Dear Mr Mundy,

You have been identified as a Pattern Day-Trader. This means you have joined the Undead Death's-Head Devil-Worshiping Legion of the Eternally Damned. Welcome. We have been expecting you.

Please contact your local branch office for local meeting times and places. These will of course invariably be on unhallowed ground between the hours of midnight and 4 am. Please bring to your first meeting $25,000 and the body of a Gentile infant of either sex, drained of all blood, not to exceed six (6) months of age.

Wine and cheese will be served, and there will be a PowerPoint presentation about holding long-term (more than six (6) minutes) positions and current real-estate price trends in Hell. Please be prepared to talk a little about yourself, such as how you discovered Pattern Day Trading and when you first knew that L. Ron Hubbard, (or "Satan" or "The Lord of Pain" if you prefer) was Dominus Animus Tuus Eternus, and if you are allergic to any foods or medicines and of course your blood-type.

In condemnatio et maledictus eternus tuus, Them (you know, "Those People")