Cash Mundy Knows the Value of a Dollar

My name is Cash Mundy, I come from Bison Forks, Texas, and I know the value of a dollar. All my friends was in the War with me. They're all dead. I started with the AVG. I didn't like being in the Tigers so much, so I hitched up with the Russkies and flew Sturmoviks till we got in, then I stayed with the FEBA from Africa to Austria, by way of the Ardennes. I flew back to Bison Forks for a little R and R, meaning refitting and repair, prior to hopping over to Japan, but they dropped the bomb so I stayed and started working our fields and the financial markets. It worked out pretty good, and now I control 2.67 trillion dollars in assets, 5000 head of cattle, and the Bison Forks Space Center. You've never heard of me until now, because I didn't want you to. Ever now and then, some media-types'd find their way out to Bison Forks, but they'd ask too many questions. The wrong questions. Questions about the War, or about my money. There's some things I don't want to talk about, and you'd better get used to that right quick. You can ask once, because anyone can make a mistake. Just don't do it twice, is all, y'hear? They'd always ask the wrong questions, usually first thing. I'd answer "I don't want to talk about that". Sure as shittin', they wouldn't get the hint, and ask one even worse, and I'd tell them "That's none of yer Goddamn business". That only seemed to fire them up, so it would always end up with me telling them to "Get the Hell off of my Goddamn Property" and putting another hole in the doublewide with my Colt. There's two of them buried out back that didn't move fast enough, and I've had to buy a chain of newspapers and three senators to take care of that mess. After that, I made sure no one ever came to Bison Forks unless I had them brought here, and decided what people didn't know wouldn't hurt them. But things is different now. That stupid thing in the White House has made the US look bad and he's made Texas look bad, which means he's made me look bad. Worst of all, he's destroying the value of the dollar. That's why you've heard of me now.